yep. home.

i knew it would happen. i said it would happen. it did. i came home. fanfare at the airport (thanks) and lots of catching up with friends and lots of "oh my god, i can't believe i'm home. it's been so long, i so don't remember all this. wank wank wank. etc." but i am now completing week two of my return and it's the same. no better, no worse, hardly different. it's hard not to go back into autopilot and go back to work, sleep all day, do nothing all night. i could slip into it at any moment. but i don't think i will. every time i see someone i haven't seen in a long time i find that i feel really boring, as though i have nothing to show for 5 months of traveling. i went to some places, i saw some amazing things, i did the tourist thing, i drank some alcohol. that's pretty much all i can say to one person. what am i supposed to tell them? "oh i did such and such at this place with so and so." completely irrelevant. there is a idea about traveling - people go overseas, experience completely different cultures, change their foundations, lose inhibitions, find out something pivotal about life and come home a better person. i don't necessarily disagree or agree. but that wasn't the point, nor was it at any point during this trip a factor. i had money, i went overseas. it was fun. i liked this place, i hated this other place. don't get me wrong, seeing parc guell, MoMA, late of the pier in sweden, and countless other things were priceless and meaningful. but comparisons of different culture's shelter, entertainment, work, food, friends, people, society are all moot points until you can figure out where you personally stand in these things. "wow, you all have amazing jobs and houses here in ______ " means nothing to me because i don't know if i want any of that. and yes, one would go traveling to figure out what they want, and where they stand with all of those factors. but i find i'm still straddling the fence on pretty much all these things. and i suppose it is the coming home part in which one is supposed to get the most use out of all this new information. and who knows, this may be happening right now. who knows. i knew it would happen. yep, it's all the same. but that much is clear now.