il coûte combien!?!

so i'm sitting in the bar at my parisian hostel, and i just saw what was perhaps the most cliche thing i've seen during my 5 or so days in paris. a couple finish their coffees, stroll towards the bridge over the quai de seine, and make out for a minute or so. yep, definately in paris. well, about 20 minutes out from where all the important stuff is, but still paris... and it wasn't easy to get here.
so here is the long version of how we got here:
- wake up in queens, packed and ready to go.
- walk to subway stop
- take subway to penn station
- take train to newark
- transfer to airtrain to terminal
- get off at terminal B
- head to check in
- my compainion suddenly and randomly falls ill
- at check in desk, we're told my ticket isn't booked
- head to service desk, finally sort out ticket change (that was made like 4 months ago)
- head back to check in, told we can't fly with one of us sick, are given two hours to get our shit together
- board plane after a tense recovery in newark intl bathrooms.
- find out we're not sitting together
- 7 hour flight next to group of german/russians who wont.shut.up + constant turbulence
- get train from heathrow to london at 8am
- finally contact cousin and drop stuff off at her house
- eat KFC
- frantically find somewhere to print bus tix to paris
- board bus to paris from shithole bus terminal at 4pm
- bus to dover 3 hours
- ferry to calais 2 hours
- bus to "paris" 3 hours
- get off at galleni, take metro to real paris after finding atm ("cash machiiiine")
- enter dodgy ass hostel and greet the family of mosquitoes living there.

yeah, sucked. BUT it's fine. i'm in no position to complain. a certain someone else is, however. being violently ill and having to do all that. ouch. props to that.

annnywho. paris is lovely and all that...

the louvre is the BIGGEST f'n museum ever. and i learned something today: i like art... modern art. a million or so paintings featuring jesus, mary and some dude riding a horse to heaven, where millions of flying babies are waving flags and shining yellow light down to earth is not for me. yes, yes, i don't understand, i'm an idiot, totally uncultured and whatnot. but you can't say that one can walk throughout the whole louvre without thinking "man, it's either jesus, or a portrait of some rich aristocrat." having said that, the egyptian, greek, african, etc artifacts and collections were pretty amazing. seeing a 2000+ year old mummy is surreal... oh, and the mona lisa. i have nothing to say about it. because it's just a freaking painting. get over it. take your photo where you stand next to it and put your thumbs up or point to it, and go check out the millions of other more interesting things on offer... the outside of the louvre is possibly even more amazing than what's on the inside. it's massive. it's crazy. yeah.
and i saw l'arc de triomphe and the tour eiffel. but i'm too tired and bored to think of anything interesting to say about them. so in summary, it was a beautiful day in a beautiful city, but 4 euro for a coke is insanity.... frogs.

paris better be worth it...

so it's 330am and derek and i have been up for hours trying to frantically book our european leg. yes, yes, i know "bla bla bla you should've booked ahead bla bla". it's kind of hard to think a week ahead when you dont know what you're doing tomorrow. anyway. we finally booked one good hostel for two days and one potentially traumatic "hotel" for three days. i'm sure it'll be fine. but daaamn paris is expensive. had we booked ahead, we'd still be paying way more than we are paying for this fine establishment in new york...
speaking of which, yes, we're still in new york. and yes, i still like new york. but yes, i am getting sick of america. i don't know if my opinion is being swayed by homesickness, but i definately am sick of many an american thing. nevertheless, i have enjoyed myself, and to keep everyone abreast of what's been going on, here is a list of stuff that makes overseas life worth living:
- we saw bloc party for free at a secret show (seeing the massive american crowd sing along to "why can't you be, more european?!" was one of the more ironic things i've seen)
- we saw sunset rubdown play at a sick venue in brooklyn
- i swear i saw carlos d (bassist for interpol) walking down the street after shopping at crate and barrel. after following him down the street and losing him, derek and i shall never know for sure.
- we met some interesting locals. the less said about that, the better.
- i've eaten enough crap to make myself contemplate vegetarianism, and i loves me my meat.
- i've seen the view from the top (of rockerfeller center), and it's a lot less annoying up there.
and it's 3:50 am, so f this, i'm out.

out in the street, they call it muurrrderrr.

the man you see above is one jerome cancel. he murdered a pace uni student 5 blocks from our hostel, a day before we arrived in new york. we stumbled across him screaming at reporters while he was escorted away from the police precinct across the road from our hostel.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/09022008/news/regionalnews/man_confesses_to_pace_students_death_127162.htm

aaaaaaaanyway...
speaking of meaning to do stuff. i totally meant to spill all that booze shown in the two videos below. i knew vegas wasn't ready for me.

i suppose i should upload as much video as i can while i can. so here we go:

on a cold (because of the aircon) and dark las vegas night, two men named derek and david left for new york, on some airline called airtran (luxury all the way).


once in new york, these men saw four young lads from canada, who go by the name of tokyo police club, play at the mercury lounge.


they also saw a mr.roger federer teach a young man from luxembourg how to play tennis.


and i'm sick of waiting for videos to upload, so that'll do for now.

so yes, we're now staying in the cleanest hostel of them all in east village. it's a vibrant and interesting neighborhood. we went out to a couple of pubs last night and scoped out the area. we went to some sports bar first, and if i saw another nfl jersey wearing douche screaming at the top of their lungs in there, i might've done some bad things. so we moved onto a nicer bar in which they insisted on giving everyone outside free shots because it was 'too cold' (even though it was around 27* that day). i think the bartender noticed us sitting inside, feeling a bit left out, so he gave us a shot on the house as well. lovely. although tequila still tests my gag reflex to this day. i don't know where i'm going with this story, but there you go. that's what we did last night.
oh and we're staying in a dorm room with 4 others guys. two of which are a father and son duo. their wife and daughter are in a female room. so whoever i reading this has to promise me: smack me upside the head when i take my family to stay in a youth hostel in new york city... i'm off to get some adapters and perhaps a corndog or burger from a vending machine...

ps - yes, that stuff in that sandwich is meat. yes it is utterly, utterly delicious. and considering that i'm considering getting a burger from a vending machine, it's a whole lot more healthy than the other crap on offer in this country. holy hell, that reminds me. i'm going to have to extend this 'ps' as i just remembered our trip to a place called minado the other night...
we were at my aunt's place in queens. hungry as hell (we'd spent the past three hours watching 'burger paradise,' 'steak paradise,' and the start of 'deep fried paradise' on the travel channel. anyways, they took us to long island, to eat at a japanese buffet. that's right, japanese buffet. two words that should never, ever, ever be used together. don't get me wrong, i love my buffets. and i loves me some japanese food. but it just feels like japanese food is the kind of thing that should be savoured in small, civilized doses. anyway, this place was frightening and exciting at the same time. $30 gets you as much sushi, sashimi and hot japanese food as you want. i hadn't noticed an obese person in new york... until i stepped into minado. they were the happiest fat people in the world, shovelling sushi and crab legs into their faces. oh, except the angry mountain of a woman who was shouting at the kitchen, "ARE THERE GUNNA BE MOAR GREEN TEA CHEESECAKES?!?!" scary. anyway, the portions were frightening, the decor was tacky, the hot food was decent but not in any way japanese (tokyo fried rice? wtf is that. by adding tokyo to the front, you don't make it japanese), the sashimi was terrible, the price was right and i had a gay old time. but i digress...

pps - thanks for reading! i miss you all.

you want video?

hesitant kid orders "ice cream" from ghetto van then runs away:





novak spills beer during a match, practice for grand spill at Harrah's Las Vegas:





aftermath of the Harrah's incident:

not lenny's!

lenny's sandwiches are the best sandwiches in the world. or on the upper west side at least...

flashing liiiiightsss.. dun dundundun dundundun...

i've spent the last half hour or so trying to load this page so i gotta make this quick before i lose this connection again. oh there it goes. hopefully by the end of this post, i'll get it back. bastards, trying to steal my stolen internets.
anyways. i'm kind of drunk right now. the flashing lights of times square and jagerbombs have left me in a wonderful state. whats more, i have the wonderful (most likely brief) experience of having a 10 person dorm room for derek and myself. god knows what kind of slobbering brits, danes, soviets or whatever, will stumble in tomorrow morning, waking me up from my loner dorm dream. but whatever, this means i'm free to roam all ten beds, trying to get a wireless net signal. i'm currently on bed 2 with 3/4 bars from "Cloumbus West 83rd". so i am exceptionally thankful for that subpar speller and hit subpar net skillz. (im in ur hostelz steelin ur interwebs!). oo! four bars!
and for anyone who's keeping score, today i consumed two gray's papaya hot dogs. and they were delicious. as well as a fellow called ray's pizza, at about 1am. but the pizza had some form of leaf on it. i think it was basil. so that totally makes it healthy.
tomorrow we're going to frollick with the dinosaurs in the museum of natural history. rawr.

that's some serious gourmet shit!

i've been meaning to upload many videos to this blog. some rad, some not so rad. but since the stolen internet connection at this hostel is a sack of poop, i am unable to at this moment.
however, expect to soon see various gems including: murderer escorted from police station, david novak spilling gin and tonic all over a blackjack table, roger federer whooping ass, tokyo police club live in new york, and more! and all for the low low price of three easy payments of $0.00...

oh and thank you braslin and eric for the pep talk, confirming that people indeed read my mindless international rambling.

speaking of which...

i got up at 2pm today. i don't know what the hell is up with my body clock. seeing as i was getting up at ridiculously late hours in australia, i figured going to the other side of the world would help me get up at reasonable hours. oh well. tomorrow i plan to make the most of the day and busk shit up in central park. maybe. if it's not raining. and i get up. ugh...

my eating regime is farked as well. but in a super awesome way. for instance, today's menu was as follows:
- goldfish
- pizza
- jamba juice
- chipotle burrito
- beer
- donut
- beer

my stomach hates me, but i love me.

"ATTN GUESTS: PLEASE PUT TOILET PAPER IN THE TRASH AND NOT IN THE TOILET!"

... so reads the sign above the toilet in our new upper west side hostel. which leaves me wondering, "so if one does a #2, you want them to put their used paper in the bin? hmmm..." but i digress. this hostel has air-con, which just makes me want to gleefully run nakedly around the place. words can't describe how gross it felt to be in our chelsea hostel without aircon, in 30* heat and underneath a big smelly norwegian. but it's all good now. it could piss down with rain for eternity (like it did all day today) or soar to 40*, and i wouldn't care, as i now have air-con, A/C, air conditioning. muy bueno!

oh and about the aforementioned rain. worst day ever to decide to purchase a guitar. i knew it was going to rain. it said it in the weather forecast all week. and yet, as soon as i saw it wasn't raining when i got up this morning, i decided to buy one. and still went through with it even after being drenched head to slippers on the way to guitar center. meh, it's dry now.

also, it has occurred to me that the readership of this blog is most likely zero. but whatever, it's still good to vent about the smelly norwegian.

"it smells like bigfoot's dick!"

i was happy. totally content. i had just brought my macbook back to our hostel and had found a free wireless net connection to steal. nothing could ruin this moment... except the random guy who just stumbled into my damn hostel room at 3am, bringing with him the worst. smell. ever. no seriously, i can't breathe. death by bunkbed. that is going to be my demise. i seriously thought the bunk would collapse onto me when he climbed on top of the bunk above me. and now i'm supposed to sleep under this massive ominous lump of stinky backpacker grossness.
shit.

on the plus side, we got us open tix and we're seeing roger, feddy cent, federer play tomorrow... if i make it through the night.

ps - http://www.wnbc.com/news/17357814/detail.html?dl=mainclick this happened 5 blocks away from our hostel. and the cop station is across the road from us. i have video of the murderer screaming at the media. will post later. crazy.

springfield, springfieldddd!

new york is that much better than california. that much better.
i have done nothing but sleep and walk since i've been here, but i can still honestly say that i like it that much more. i don't know what it is. maybe it's the bum on the street corner, or the tattoo-covered lesbians at the cafe, or the fact that i haven't gotten the shifty eye from anyone for wearing a "man-purse."

and it's so nice to be out of vegas. although i do wish there were more wheel of fortune slot machines around the place here. oh well. i'll just have to blow my money on something else, most likely hot dogs, or pizza.

i do miss australia though. namely, my bed. our hostel is pretty good, considering it's a hostel in the middle of manhattan. but we're on the stinking hot top floor and have to share bunk beds with two randoms. but whatever, it's sweet.

well my net time is running out so all i can think of to add in summary is: east coast good, west coast bad.

word.